The Sledgehammer – Version 2.0

December 7, 2007

You’d fall for it too

Filed under: Design, Food — Tags: , — Brian Lutz @ 2:29 am

At a Papa Murphy’s Take and Bake pizza near here the other day, I found this bit of decoration on the floor:

Of course, the point they’re trying to get across with this is pretty clear, and even if it wasn’t, they’ve conveniently provided a sign to explain it.  Let’s try to figure this whole thing out:

  •  Apparently the floor of this particular establishment is unable to bear the weight of an average person when it is combined with the weight of one of the pizzas which is sold here.  This leads to one of two conclusions:  Either the floor of this establishment is woefully inadequate for the purpose it was designed for (in which case, a building inspector would probably have a field day with all the code violations they could presumably find here) or the mass of the pizza in question exceeds the load bearing capacity of the floor.  Although the impression that they would like to present suggests the latter, the nature of the damage to the floor, combined with the unusually wide spacing between the floor joists seems to suggest the former scenario is far more likely.
  • In spite of the fact that I have never seen one of these places in anything besides a single-story building, it seems that this particular location happens to have an unfinished basement underneath it, unbeknownst to any of the customers until one of them found himself crashing through the floor in a freak pizza-hauling accident. 
  • Speaking of our hapless victim, through some miracle he appears to have emerged from this ordeal surprisingly unscathed, as has the product he was carrying at the time of the accident in question.  Given the fact that the figure depicted on the warning sign placed next to the hole (where it does absolutely nothing to prevent an unwary passerby from falling in) has apparently been flattened by one of these freakishly huge pizzas, this is especially miraculous.
  • Finally, in spite of all this, nobody in this particular establishment seems to have bothered doing anything to either assist him in getting out of the hole or contacing emergency services.  For all we know, he’ll be stuck down there for days, trying in vain to get someone to bring a ladder and surviving on unbaked Chicago Style Stuffed Crust pizza.

Anyone care to count how many potential lawsuits this little vignette contains?

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