The Sledgehammer – Version 2.0

January 17, 2008

Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz, Oh we’re not even trying anymore

Filed under: Advertising — Tags: — Brian Lutz @ 2:54 am

Like clockwork, every Tuesday and Wednesday a weekly ration of dead tree spam hits my mailbox.  Since the apartment complex I live in provides convenient recycling bins right by the mailboxes to dispose of the stuff, very little of it actually makes it more than a few steps from the mailbox itself, but I do usually at least browse through it just in case there might be some coupons I can stick on the fridge and completely forget about until three months past the expiration date.  Most of the mail consists of relatively mundane weekly grocery store ads, but there’s also a section containing various coupons and some of those “special offers” that you just can’t wait to pass up.  In this week’s mailing, this particular ad caught my eye:

Yes, it’s none other than Speedy Alka-Seltzer, brought back from the dustbin of history after market research showed that nobody has bought any of the stuff since the mid Seventies.  In fact, he doesn’t appear to have aged a day during that time, although the vaguely seasonal catchphrase he brought along for the ride seems to be seriously stretching for a rhyme.  It also doesn’t seem to have anything to do with heartburn and/or headache relief, which leads me to wonder exactly whether he’s here to sell you Alka-Seltzer, or if he’s just spouting some generic ad copy he got from the National Beer and Chicken Wings Promotion Council?  For that matter, doesn’t he look just a bit young to be drinking in the first place?  Someone check his ID. 

But if you can put those issues aside, you can get Speedy and his newly rehashed catchphrase emblazoned on a free (with purchase, of course) limited edition T-shirts, perfect for doing things that don’t involve going out in public and/or retaining any shred of the dignity you may have once had.  If that one isn’t quite to your liking, they offer a second option for the slogan, perfect for the next time you need to get yourself fired from your job in a hurry.  At least you won’t have any heartburn or headache while you’re standing in the unemployment line.

EDIT:  I keep forgetting that YouTube exists.  Here’s a clip of Speedy from his heyday:



  1. Well SOMETHING has to sustain the economy of Elkar Indiana….
    I guess Alkaseltzer will have to ship out to China and become unsafe for consumption before too long *rolls eyes*

    Comment by reccaphoenix — March 2, 2008 @ 12:39 am

  2. […] at this website in conjunction with these throwback boxes.  Unlike the T-shirts offered in some promotions, the ones from this one actually look like the type of thing that a sane person might actually wear […]

    Pingback by New Cereal in Old Boxes « The Sledgehammer - Version 2.0 — March 21, 2008 @ 2:23 am

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