The Sledgehammer – Version 2.0

June 1, 2008

How to Flunk Out of Fourth Grade

Filed under: Advertising, Random Stuff — Tags: — Brian Lutz @ 5:28 pm

Although I am not planning on profiling Southcenter Mall for a while (at least not until the new expansion opens later in the Summer, and probably not before I get at least Redmond Town Center and Bellevue Square done,) I happened to be in the neighborhood yesterday and began taking some photos to use when I do get around to it.  This is a poster that I came across in one of the hallways, ostensibly a PSA explaining how to go to college:

Apparently the admissions criteria at the major universities have changed a bit since I graduated from high school.  I don’t seem to recall there being any prerequisites in shopping cart hooliganism or bike theft when I applied for college, nor do I remember being taught anything about the need to inflict cruelty to animals in rooms with hideous wallpaper (although I suppose they might let you wait until you attend your first frat party to take care of that one.)  Given the fact that I graduated from the local community college roughly four years ago and since then tuition to attend the school has more than doubled, I suspect that the discovery of money growing on trees may be just about the only way most people are going to be able to afford it anymore, although I’m pretty sure they’ll still let you run up crippling amounts of student loan debts if you’d prefer that method.

It turns out that there’s supposed to be some sort of hidden meaning to each of these pictures, which reveals one of four steps you need to take in order to get into college.  Not only are the “correct” answers to each of these virtually impossible to figure out just by looking at the pictures above, Even if you know what these are supposed to mean they still don’t make any sense.  The “correct” answers to these are posted after the jump, but Feel free to add your own interpetations of these.  Also be sure to check out this website which the poster points to, featuring a television ad for this campaign which is even more inexplicable than the poster above:

This is your math teacher on drugs.  Any questions?

The answers:

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4 Comments »

  1. holy crap! i laughed SO hard i had tears in my eyes!! my co-workers now think i’m absolutely insane because i was pretty much laughing out loud to myself…
    thanks for the laughs!! :)
    happy blogging!!

    Comment by kiley — June 2, 2008 @ 4:44 pm

  2. I like how the donkey picture is clearly referencing “pain in the ASS” but the “explanation ” doesn’t have the guts to actually write “ass,” making for a very un-funny joke. -_-
    And that guy in the shopping cart? Clearly not pushing HIMSELF.
    This is probably the best example EVER of an advertiser striving to do something different and “hip” by not being all blatant, but failing UTTERLY.
    As for what I THOUGHT the pictures were referencing at first….
    1. Poke yourself in the ass (to get yourself going) 2. Get lots of money by appearing on MTV “Jackass” doing idiotic things in shopping carts. 3. devise a pyramid scheme built on renting undersize bikes and get money that way. 4. get free money (because money obviously grows on trees.

    Comment by reccaphoenix — June 3, 2008 @ 5:31 pm

  3. Oh and that “math teacher” picture……That is just asking for some 300-style orchestral music and yelling. “THIS….IS….ALGEBRAAAAAAA!”

    Comment by reccaphoenix — June 5, 2008 @ 8:57 pm

  4. ahhh, thanks for the answer. I thought it was “be a pain in the ass, shop around, don’t return the rental, and when money grows on trees you can go to college.”

    Comment by space mase — June 12, 2008 @ 1:01 am


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