The Sledgehammer – Version 2.0

September 3, 2008

All Right, Who Sacked the Cookie Jar Again?

Filed under: Random Stuff — Tags: — Brian Lutz @ 12:44 am

For all the time I seem to spend in malls these days, I never have been a big fan of actually going out and shopping for stuff, especially clothing.  When the need arises for new clothes, I tend to go to the nearest convenient place that doesn’t cost a fortune, grab a few items off the rack, buy them, and get out.  As long as the basic requirements of modesty and not looking like I stole my wardrobe from a 1970s game show host are fulfilled, I’m not particularly picky about what I end up wearing most of the time.  If my wardrobe is in really bad shape, I might even go so far as to make a trip out to the outlet mall in North Bend, but for some reason there’s something that’s oddly depressing about the place, and there’s only two or three stores there I’ll even consider buying stuff at anyway, so I don’t go there all that often.  I figure as long as I’m not getting nagged about my choice of clothing by my mother I should be OK for a while.  If I am getting nagged about clothing by my mother, then it’s probably time to either go buy some new stuff or lay low for a while.  In theory if I ever manage to get married this role would be taken over by whatever future spouse I end up with, but that’s another post for another time. 

Even if I’m not out shopping for clothing, for some reason I seem to end up at the various closeout stores in the area (e.g. Marshall’s, TJMaxx and Ross) every so often, just to look around.  Because these stores get their inventory as closeout items from other stores, the selection at these places can oftentimes include some of the most completely random items.  Between the off-brand yoga mats and the rackfuls of vaguely designer clothing (that apparently was designed when the designer had the day off,) sometimes you’ll run into some of the most off-the-wall items.  Case in point:

Through the magic of runaway product licensing, a typical (albeit somewhat kitschy) cookie jar is magically transformed into a “premium” collectible by the completely random addition of an Oakland Raiders logo.  Sure, they’ll stick professional sports logos on pretty much anything these days, but even by those low standards this seems like just a bit of a stretch.  In general, Oakland Raiders fans tend to be notorious for their outlandish outfits and face painting that would make Gene Simmons jealous, and are very rarely noted for their prowess with baked goods.  A group once described by Hunter S. Thompson as “The sleaziest and rudest and most sinister mob of thugs and wackos ever assembled” (and given Mr. Thompson’s tendencies toward general misanthropy, that’s really saying something) doesn’t seem like the type of audience you’d want to be trying to sell cookie jars to.  That fact probably has something to do with explaining how these things ended up on a shelf of random ceramics in a closeout store a thousand miles away from Oakland, with a half-off price tag. 

Of course, given the natural tendency for these fan swag peddlers to milk a questionable idea for all it’s worth, it appears that similar cookie jars exist for a number of other NFL teams as well (presumably teams with fans who are more likely to use a cookie jar to store cookies than they are to use it for target practice.)  On the other hand, if you don’t want to pay the half-off bargain basement price they’re trying to flog these things off at up here, you’re always welcome to pay the full price (plus shipping) to grab one from the Raiders online store.


1 Comment »

  1. That’s a pretty sweet find, I wish I had one of those in my house, but a 49ers version. Don’t worry about getting sacked repeatedly, it’s more likely a who intercepted the the cookie jar situation. Russell might come through big for the Raiders though, who knows.

    Comment by Closeout King — September 3, 2008 @ 8:01 am

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