The Sledgehammer – Version 2.0

September 18, 2008

And You Thought You Got Walked All Over

Filed under: Random Stuff — Brian Lutz @ 10:59 pm

In theory, designing household accessories for children shouldn’t be a difficult task.  For the most part, all you really have to do is make the same stuff you make for grown-ups add a few day-glo colors to the manufacturing process, get rid of all the sharp pointy edges (after all, you never know when Mommy and Daddy are going to turn out to be ambulance chasing lawyers) and tell the stores to put the thing somewhere in the kids section of the home decorating aisle.  If you happen to have acquired licensing rights for some popular cartoon character, in theory it makes your job a lot easier.  If you don’t have any flavor-of-the-week movie licenses, things might be a bit trickier though.  You’ll be tempted to come up with your own colorful-yet-non-infringing characters to plaster all over your products, but if you take this approach, it might not be a bad idea to consult someone who knows what they’re doing before proceeding.  Otherwise, you get something like this:

Meet Shorty, a bathroom step stool from the Tuff Lil’ Squirtz line of products from Homz.  By all appearances, it seems that Shorty was designed to exhibit some of that “Attitude” stuff that seems to be all the rage with the preschool set these days, but unfortunately, the effect seems to come off more along the lines of a perpetual migraine and/or anger management issues.  Although Shorty has a set of apparently vestigal toes, the fact that he is made completely out of plastic would indicate that he probably lacks the other necessary biomechanics required to walk, thus rendering him unable to escape from his predicament.  When he’s not being stomped on by tooth-brushing three year olds, he probably spends the rest of his days next to the bathroom sink, quietly cursing the day he was molded.

This particular line of products (PDF link, which also has a photo of this stool without the “goggle” sticker on it) apparently contains a much happier looking shower caddy and a number of items with random faces on them, most of which are too indistinct to see much of in the photos provided.  Generally, if you are in the market for a step stool for the bathroom, I would recommend something that appears at least somewhat less likely than this one to snap and start murdering people for not washing their hands.  On the other hand, there’s still hope for Mr. Shorty here.  If he plays his cards just right, maybe he can land a part in the next Super Mario game…

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