As regular readers of this site know, the weekly dose of mailbox clogging dead tree spam that hits the mailboxes around here on Tuesdays can frequently be a source of odd products, questionable special offers or just plain ridiculous products offered for sale at some unbelievable bargain-basement price that you just can’t pass up. I think this one, which showed up in today’s bolus of tremendous savings, might just take the cake:
That pimply-faced drive-thru clerk won’t stand a chance of “accidentally” forgetting your senior discount with this handsome, comfortable, adjustable fit “Don’t Forget My Senior Discount!” hat (of Doom) on your head! Never mind the fact that the mere appearance of general oldness is usually sufficient to receive such discounts, or the fact that this product is being marketed to a generation which was largely taught that it is impolite to wear a hat indoors, this hat will (theoretically) pay for itself as you reap the benefits of your golden years. And all this can be yours for the low price of only $9.95* (or $7.95 each if you buy two or more of the things for some inexplicable reason. You better stock up just in case you manage to outlive the company selling these, right?) Order yours today!
*Shipping and Handling not included. Dignity sold separately.