The Sledgehammer – Version 2.0

October 26, 2008

This Little Piggy Went to Market

Filed under: Random Stuff — Tags: , , — Brian Lutz @ 12:19 am

NOT an actual photo.  Believe me, that is SOOOOO not ny color...

Note: NOT an actual photo. Believe me, that is SOOOOO not ny color...

 When I woke up this morning, I’m pretty sure that going and getting pampered wasn’t on my agenda, but thanks to a combination of peer pressure, a momentary lapse of reason and having accidentally left what few shreds of dignity i have remaining at home when I went out the door this morning, that’s pretty much what ended up happening today.  My parents are off on yet another of their frequent globetrotting adventures this week. and for some reason. they seem to have made a habit of going out and getting pedicures before they head off.  Having not done a lot of traveling lately.  This includes my Dad, and my brother (although I have no idea how they got rooked into the whole thing in the first place.)  Although I will not be joining them on this trip due to a combination of work schedule and having dropped a fairly decent chunk of change on the new computer, somehow I managed to get talked into heading over to the nail salon and joining them.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that there seems to be a  bit of a discrepancy between the range of personal grooming services offered toward men and women.  On the male side of the equation, you’ve got the traditional shave and a haircut (which, incidentally, will generally run you a lot more than two bits these days,) and maybe a few scattered other services here and there.  Women, on the other hand, have a plethora of salons and spas all over the place, offering all sorts of perms, coloring, facials, massages, exfoliating scrubs, waxing and all sorts of other fancy sounding stuff.  The same thing goes for grooming products.  Right now, a bottle of shampoo (I usually stick with Pert Plus,) a bar of soap, an electric razor and a couple of combs  is just about the extent of the grooming supplies that I keep in my apartment.  I think there might be a bottle or two of lotion in there somewhere as well, usually kept in a dark corner of the medicine cabinet until my hands start looking like one of those dry lake beds you see on the nature shows.  In contrast, Back when I was growing up in my parents’ house with two sisters, the bathroom often contained a bewildering array of shampoos, conditioners, scented lotions, hairbrushes and other grooming tools for purposes I had never been able to completely determine.  There are whole stores full of this stuff, some of which are big enough that you could get yourself lost for three days trying to find a new comb.  Generally, the mens products in one of these stores will take up about two shelves, maybe three.

On one hand, it’s nice being able to just wash my hair in the evening, comb it in the morning and head out the door, but as a guy (especially a single guy,) it seems rather easy for other things to get neglected.  Sure, going out and getting a haircut every once in a while (usually when my Mom tells me that I need a haircut)  isn’t a big deal, but  that’s pretty much the extent of what I’ll normally go out for.  Left to my own devices, I’m pretty sure that a pedicure is just about the last thing that I’d actually go out and have done.  For one thing, if you’re a guy and you walk into a nail salon and the first thing you see is 147 different colors of nail polish up on the wall, chances are you’re going to get the impression that you have accidentally wandered into a place where Y chromosomes dare not tread. 

Sure,  a guy or two might get dragged into the place every so often by a girlfriend or wife, but what self-respecting single guy is going to go into one of those places on their own?  Aside from biting the proverbial bullet and  getting the pedicure, the other options seem to be to either just put up with your crummy toenails and callused feet, or to try to take care of rhe stuff yourself.  This opens up yet another can of worms, as the contents of the foot care section at your friendly neighborhood mega-mart generally tend to come in two varieties:  Flowery and extra flowery.  You’d probably spend just as much time trying to come up with an excuse to try to pass off on the cashier as you would actually finding the stuff.  It turns out that an Internet search does reveal that there are places that specifically offer male manicures and pedicures on their list of services, but in general, the whole thing still seems rather skewed toward the female side.  I suspect most places would have no problem doing it (and probably get a fair number of men among their clients,) but you just don’t hear about it often. 

 Which brings me back to this.  I figured with my Dad and brother there I would only look somewhathorrendously out of place, so I might as well give it a shot.  If the whole thing didn’t work out, I figured I could just simply never show my face in there ever again and call it good.  I got there a bit later than the others, so I ended up waiting a bit.  Not being able to find any magazines in the place other than those of the variety that I probably wouldn’t be caught dead reading, I just decided to chill out and wait for a bit.  Eventually my turn arrived, and although I wasn’t really paying a whole lot of attention to the process, it wasn’t anything like I expected.  They had nice little soaking basins with bubble jets, massage chairs and the process involved a nice little foot and leg rub in addition to the usual grooming tasks.  They’ll even let you get away without getting your toenails painted if you don’t want (although since I don’t plan to wear Tevas anytime in the next six months or so, who would even notice if I did?)  It turned out that the whole process wasn’t bad at all and was even a relaxing experience, although I don’t expect to make a habit out of it.  I suppose that it could have turned out a whole lot worse…

Maybe if I ever need to come up with somewhere besides the movies to take a date I might give it a shot again.  Come to think of it, my fingernails ARE looking just a bit shabby these days…



  1. hahaha… Im pretty sure I threw a fit over your pedicure Brian. Pretty sure it went something like this, “What Brian got a pedicure? Brian doesn’t need a pedicure, I need a pedicure? How is it fair that my brother gets to be more pampered than his pregnant sister?!” I have since moved on… I’m just saying, there was a fit thrown.

    Comment by Heather — October 26, 2008 @ 4:00 pm

  2. As was a guilt trip, it would seem…

    If it’s any consolation, this also means that I’m dogsitting here at home this week while Mom, Dad Jared and Emily are all off in Cancun. One of these days I should go try to take a real vacation or something like that… Although the dog park is only occasionally sunny and far from exotic, I seem to spend a lot of time there whenever Mom and Dad are on vacation these days…

    Comment by Brian Lutz — October 26, 2008 @ 6:08 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: