Normally here at The Sledgehammer, I have a longstanding policy of allowing myself only one complaint about the weather per month. I do this mostly because if I didn’t limit myself this way I don’t know if I’d ever write about anything but how crummy the weather is, and the seven or eight people who actually read this Blog would get sick of it really fast (well, I think they already get sick of my stuff really fast, but if I did that they’d get sick of it even faster.) Even allowing myself a monthly complaint about the weather, I’ve actually tried to refrain from doing too much complaining about the weather lately, even though the historically bad weather we’ve been getting around here for the past few months would certainly provide plenty to complain about. And even though this past Spring was one of the coldest ones on record for the Seattle area, I think most people around here have learned to expect that kind of stuff. Besides, we need something around here to scare off the Californians every once in a while, right?
The conventional wisdom regarding Seattle weather is that Summer doesn’t officially begin until July 5th, but with some of the weather we’ve had around here this year, I’m starting to wonder if they got that one backwards. The Fourth of July weekend this year was, rather uncharacteristically, quite nice this year. The problem is that just about everything after that has pretty much sucked. To be honest, I’ve never been a big fan of the really hot weather (mostly because I tend to get hot very easily, as I’m sure I’ve discussed and\or bored readers with here previously) but I’m even less of a fan of having to wear a jacket and carry an umbrella to walk to work in the middle of July. OK, so maybe that’s an exaggeration, but the weather we’ve been getting here lately, particularly over the past week or so, seems to be straight out of October. I’m not saying that it’s the end of the world or anything like that, but you know that daydreaming that most people tend to do about going somewhere nice and sunny to get away from the weather when they’re stuck in the middle of Winter? I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen in the middle of Summer, but there seems to be an awful lot of it going around here lately.
Then again, with some of the weather the rest of the country has been stuck with while we’ve been busy wallowing underneath an amount well in excess of our recommended daily allowance of clouds, it’s not like there’s really anywhere that much better to go, unless you happen to like temperatures closer to the ones you’d normally find on a cake recipe than on a weather map. With the big heat wave over in the Eastern United States there’s a lot of talk about something called a Heat Index over the past few days, which seems to be some obscure mishmash of temperature and humidity that I don’t really understand, but the short version is that it’s basically sounds like a fancy of way of telling you just how miserable you’re supposed to be at any given time. In theory, we’re supposed to have one of those here as well, but it seems like we’re still struggling to get out of wind chill factor territory, so I don’t think anyone’s paying too much attention to the heat index right now. But just in case you’re interested, this site is currently predicting that there’s a 1% chance of reaching a heat index of 100 degrees next Tuesday. Don’t like it that hot? Well, there’s a whopping 20% chance of reaching a heat index of 80 degrees next Thursday, so don’t toss out that sunscreen just yet, because there’s at least a 1 in 5 chance that the weather might not completely suck sometime within the next week or so.
In spite of all the gloom and/or doom in the forecast these days (although I don’t think that the local weathermen have broken out any awkward eschatological proclamations like Overcastpocalypse for this weather pattern JUST yet, I’d give it another week or so on that one) I have to imagine that there have to be some people out there who actually like this stuff. I suspect that most of them are named Cullen, sparkle and engage in thoroughly contrived teenage drama on a regular basis (yes, I actually saw Twilight once, under duress, I’d rather not talk about it,) but that doesn’t really count unless you’re a teenage girl anyway. For non-ficticious beings, I think the list of people who enjoy this type of weather includes, um, well… cranky old people (some of them anyway) and, um… people who hate solar energy? Well OK, I’ve got nothing. But there’s got to be someone out there who actually likes this stuff. and the sooner we can identify, locate and officially not take the guy seriously, the better off we’ll all be for it. As for the rest of us? Well, I suppose there’s always the option of packing up and moving to Florida. Sure there’s ridiculous heat, monsoons, hurricanes, alligators and about half a zillion crazy people down there, but at least July actually looks like July down there, right?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go find out what it would take to find myself a rewarding career in the lucrative offshore tax shelter industry.