Fun With Insomnia: Chasing Delusions of Grandeur, and Other Items on My To-Do List

I suppose that after spending the last thirty-two years piloting a human body around this planet I’d have figured out a thing or two about how the things are supposed to work.  Try as I might, there are a few things I just can’t seem to figure out.  For example, how is it that around 9:30pm I can be so tired that I’m just about ready to zonk out on the spot, but by the time I actually go through the pre-bedtime routine and I’m ready to actually go to bed then suddenly I’m wide awake, and continue to be wide awake at 2am?  It probably doesn’t help much that I’m frequently still awake at 2am anyway, but that’s the tricky part about whatever variation on insomnia I’ve got:  I never seem to have any trouble falling asleep when I’m not supposed to be falling asleep, just when I want to be.  It probably all boils down to some sort of seriously out-of-whack sleep cycle, but I’ve gotten used to it.  In the meantime, since sleep doesn’t exactly seem to be on the agenda right now, it’s time for another Fun with Insomnia  post:  All the drivel of a regular Sledgehammer post, with only half the coherence!

Anyway, as you might imagine, the big item on my plate right now (aside from the usual task of trying to get about half a dozen mobile apps shipped all at once) is the fact that I just happen to be moving into Downtown Bellevue three weeks from now, and I’ve got a to-do list half a mile long as a result.  Surprisingly, it’s not the actual moving that I’m worried about at this point:  Sure there is the task of packing everything up and hauling it out, but really when I look around the place I suspect that the vast majority of the big stuff in the place could be loaded up onto a truck within about an hour or so, but there are some items that I am going to need to get rid of before I do (I’m pretty sure the management at my new place would frown on the indoor use of a gas grill, and the thing would probably take up too much space anyway.)  Mostly it’s all the little things like changes of address, transferring utilities and services to the new place and basically doing whatever I need to do to make sure I don’t find myself spending a week in luxurious darkness when I get there.  Fortunately with most of my family nearby it isn’t too hard to find good help for the actual moving part.  In order to round up some help for the move, this is the e-mail I sent out:

As you have probably heard by now I am currently in the process of turning into a freakin’ yuppie, and I am going to be moving to a new place in Downtown Bellevue a few weeks from now.  I would appreciate if I could get some help with the move.  I will hopefully be getting most of my stuff moved in on Saturday July 24th, and will have the freight elevator in the building reserved for three hours that day.  Unless you count the dinky little step in front of my current place that really has no business being there in the first place there won’t be any stairs to deal with, and since there’s a freight elevator at the new place I’m hoping I should be able to keep the hernias to a minimum.  And there will, of course, be donuts (GOOD donuts.  You know, the type that are so good NFL rookies risk public humiliation to steal ’em at 3 in the morning.) 

The new apartment is in ElementsToo, just off the NE 8th exit to 405…  You know, that big pretentious wedge-shaped building you see from 405 when you’re driving through Bellevue and think to yourself, “Man, the guy who designed that place must have been smoking something.”  It should be noted that the complex may contain one or more art galleries, so if you find it necessary to wear a beret, feel free to do so.
 
Let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns about my sanity.
 
Thanks,
-Brian

Shortly afterward, my brother Jared replied with the following message, which I thought was just too hilarious not to share:

Though my current residence in the nether-reaches of the Seattle Metro area and the “red-neck” tendencies associated therewith make me wary of any structure containing an art gallery, I find myself intrigued by the possibility of commandeering a freight elevator for hours of personal use and enjoyment.  I do believe it will be my privilege to take the gun rack out of my back window (city folk frown on such public displays, after all), brush my tooth, hitch up my rope belt and see what this “culture” business is all about.  Besides, who isn’t willing to engage in hours of back breaking manual labor when there is the possibility of donuts being involved.  Anyone know where I can get a cheap beret?

Although it tends to be a skill of limited use, I find it oddly reassuring to know that the fine art of dry sarcasm runs in the family.  After all, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to don a cheap beret and spend three hours playing in a freight elevator in the second snobbiest part of town?  If someone complains, just call it performance art and they won’t be able to do a thing about it (besides call the cops, that is.)

To be perfectly honest, I still haven’t quite managed to make it past the “What the heck did I just get myself into?” phase of the whole thing, After all, it would be a lot cheaper and a lot more convenient to just stay put where I am and not have to pack up and move everything .  Actually, I’m pretty sure I would have to move eventually, as I am not currently planning to spend the rest of my life in a nondescript aging 840 square foot apartment, but it would give me the option to just hit the snooze button on that one for another year.  Although the commute is a significant factor in the decision to move, I’d have to say that the main reason I’m moving is that I just get the feeling that it’s time for a change.  In fact, I could say that I pretty much made up my mind that I’d be moving now back when I made the decision to renew my lease a year ago.  Five years is actually quite a long time to spend in one apartment, and I just get the sense that I’ve become a bit too settled in where I am.  On one hand, I am still not entirely convinced that I’m not making some sort of big mistake here, but on the other hand, it also sounds like it could be fun.  I’m not paying nearly as much as I could be paying elsewhere in downtown Bellevue (I’m pretty sure it’s cheaper than buying an Armani suit from the next-door neighbors,) and although I seriously doubt I could do it for more than a year at this point, it’s the type of thing I’m pretty sure I’d only ever have one shot at doing, so I might as well take the opportunity.  I figure that if I can continue on my current financial path I can actually be ready to give serious consideration to buying a place (most likely not in Downtown Bellevue though, condos here are freakin’ expensive) a year from now, and can at least start to think about settling down.  Life rarely works out quite the way it’s planned though, so who knows what’ll happen?  All I know is that one way or another things tend to work out, and for that I am grateful, even if I don’t always understand quite how they manage to get there.  As usual, it’s a long story…

(Note:  It does worry me slightly that I suddenly find myself thinking of apartment rent in terms of Armani suits…)